Life is what we make of it... As we all know life is a cycle that has it's ups and downs. I feel that this is going to be a very challenging year, which is not a good thing by any means. I remember at Christmas my family and myself were ready for the new year to roll around and wishing for a great start to the new decade. I can speak for most of us when I say that has not been the case...AT ALL!!!
I feel bad for being so stressed and thinking that everything that is going on is so bad. I know there are people in this world who are facing far bigger problems than my own, but to me they are a big weight sitting on my shoulders. Just following me around.
First my sister had some issues that were causing some strain on our family. She was unable to drive for a few weeks and my Mom and myself were splitting time trying to get her to work and school. She works a second shift job so I was having to go pick her up at 11 pm from work which is 45 minute drive from my house. Not so great at all! Luckily that has been resolved, one less thing to worry about.
Then out of the blue my dad decides to pop up after 3 years. I can not even begin to explain the stress this puts on me and my family. To be nice I will only say this... Almost 4 years ago my husband and I had to bring my Mom and brother to live with us. My dad had some major issues and refused to ackowdlege he had problems, he blamed everything on his family. Before my Mom and Winston came to live with me I spent everyday worring that something was going to happen to them, finally my Mom knew she had to leave and her and Winston came to live with us. We spent months being bullied by him. He called constantly and left messages saying he was going to hurt us, then he disappears and we haven't herd from him in years. Now he is back again and wants to see my brother. Winston is fixing to be 15 and he will not even talk about my dad, he wants nothing to do with him and I can not blame him one bit. I am 27 years old and he will NEVER ever be welcome in my life. Not after everything he has done. So he called the school wanted to see Winston and so my poor little brother is stressed out and scared. I hate this so much!!! He is a great kid! He has great grades he is in National Jr Honor Society, Student Council and plays sports. You couldn't ask for a better teenager, I would do anything for him! It makes me so angry that my Dad would start his mess again and Winston is the one that has to suffer for it... After he called the school I tried to call and talk to him to see why he was doing this... All I got was about 3 words in and he started yelling and then hung up the phone. I know in my heart he doesn't care about any of us, there is some motive behind him trying to do this. This is the biggest stress in my life because you just never know what he is capable of and I worry for my Mom and Winston.
With that in mind here is something that really gets to me. There are very few people who knows the extent of the situation with my dad and what we have been through. Yet people always tell me I should forgive him. Well, I am a very forgiving person and I love everyone. There are just some things that are unforgivable. I gave him so many chances and every time he let me down. He has said the worst things you could ever think of to all of us, threatened us, and made our life hell. There have been so many nights that I have been scared to go to sleep because of him. All I can say is thank God for my husband. During all these hard times he stayed right by me even when I thought I was going to go crazy from all the stress. He is such a great man. When all this started we were dating, and he stepped up for me and stepped up to be a positive influence in my brothers life. He takes Winston hunting and sometimes I think Winston loves Mark more than me...LOL I just can't imagine what I would do without my wonderful husband.
Pile on top of that work and I don't know how I manage to keep my sanity! Work has been stressful. Seems like some days everyone needs everything, and I just can't do anything fast enough. Then our hours have been cut back since we have been slow.
Maybe I just feel so stressed because it is so many different things all going on at one time. I know things will get better. I was just looking forward to a great 2010 and right now this year has not been very good to me. I guess it has 8 months left to change my mind!
On Another Note:
Earlier I said that people were facing far greater problems. I think about the earthquake victims in Haiti and Chile and I feel terrible for thinking my problems are so bad. My heart goes out to everyone facing struggles and difficult times in their life.
I recently found out about a classmate from high school that was killed in Iraq on February 23. Daniel O' Leary was a young man who dedicated his life to our country. He was a husband, a son, and a brother. My heart goes out to his whole family. He was only 23 years old and I read on his page that he was scheduled to come home the week after he passed. I hope his family can find peace in the fact that he was a hero and sacrificed his own life for all of ours. Marks cousin Eric is currently on his first tour in Afghanistan. War is scary, and all we can do is pray for our soldiers and hope they make it home to their families safely. Uplift the ones who make that ultimate sacrifice and make sure they are never forgotten. God Bless all of our soldiers and their families!
I feel bad for being so stressed and thinking that everything that is going on is so bad. I know there are people in this world who are facing far bigger problems than my own, but to me they are a big weight sitting on my shoulders. Just following me around.
First my sister had some issues that were causing some strain on our family. She was unable to drive for a few weeks and my Mom and myself were splitting time trying to get her to work and school. She works a second shift job so I was having to go pick her up at 11 pm from work which is 45 minute drive from my house. Not so great at all! Luckily that has been resolved, one less thing to worry about.
Then out of the blue my dad decides to pop up after 3 years. I can not even begin to explain the stress this puts on me and my family. To be nice I will only say this... Almost 4 years ago my husband and I had to bring my Mom and brother to live with us. My dad had some major issues and refused to ackowdlege he had problems, he blamed everything on his family. Before my Mom and Winston came to live with me I spent everyday worring that something was going to happen to them, finally my Mom knew she had to leave and her and Winston came to live with us. We spent months being bullied by him. He called constantly and left messages saying he was going to hurt us, then he disappears and we haven't herd from him in years. Now he is back again and wants to see my brother. Winston is fixing to be 15 and he will not even talk about my dad, he wants nothing to do with him and I can not blame him one bit. I am 27 years old and he will NEVER ever be welcome in my life. Not after everything he has done. So he called the school wanted to see Winston and so my poor little brother is stressed out and scared. I hate this so much!!! He is a great kid! He has great grades he is in National Jr Honor Society, Student Council and plays sports. You couldn't ask for a better teenager, I would do anything for him! It makes me so angry that my Dad would start his mess again and Winston is the one that has to suffer for it... After he called the school I tried to call and talk to him to see why he was doing this... All I got was about 3 words in and he started yelling and then hung up the phone. I know in my heart he doesn't care about any of us, there is some motive behind him trying to do this. This is the biggest stress in my life because you just never know what he is capable of and I worry for my Mom and Winston.
With that in mind here is something that really gets to me. There are very few people who knows the extent of the situation with my dad and what we have been through. Yet people always tell me I should forgive him. Well, I am a very forgiving person and I love everyone. There are just some things that are unforgivable. I gave him so many chances and every time he let me down. He has said the worst things you could ever think of to all of us, threatened us, and made our life hell. There have been so many nights that I have been scared to go to sleep because of him. All I can say is thank God for my husband. During all these hard times he stayed right by me even when I thought I was going to go crazy from all the stress. He is such a great man. When all this started we were dating, and he stepped up for me and stepped up to be a positive influence in my brothers life. He takes Winston hunting and sometimes I think Winston loves Mark more than me...LOL I just can't imagine what I would do without my wonderful husband.
Pile on top of that work and I don't know how I manage to keep my sanity! Work has been stressful. Seems like some days everyone needs everything, and I just can't do anything fast enough. Then our hours have been cut back since we have been slow.
Maybe I just feel so stressed because it is so many different things all going on at one time. I know things will get better. I was just looking forward to a great 2010 and right now this year has not been very good to me. I guess it has 8 months left to change my mind!
On Another Note:
Earlier I said that people were facing far greater problems. I think about the earthquake victims in Haiti and Chile and I feel terrible for thinking my problems are so bad. My heart goes out to everyone facing struggles and difficult times in their life.
I recently found out about a classmate from high school that was killed in Iraq on February 23. Daniel O' Leary was a young man who dedicated his life to our country. He was a husband, a son, and a brother. My heart goes out to his whole family. He was only 23 years old and I read on his page that he was scheduled to come home the week after he passed. I hope his family can find peace in the fact that he was a hero and sacrificed his own life for all of ours. Marks cousin Eric is currently on his first tour in Afghanistan. War is scary, and all we can do is pray for our soldiers and hope they make it home to their families safely. Uplift the ones who make that ultimate sacrifice and make sure they are never forgotten. God Bless all of our soldiers and their families!
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