I think I am at the point of border line insanity!!! It's really great to be feeling better but this prednisone is making me crazy :0 If anything it keeps you awake (even though I am so tired), it makes you eat everything in sight (I think I have gained 5 lbs from being sick) and it makes you body swell....ugh I feel like I am a big fat sleepless PIG right now!!!!!!! It's like my brain and my body are on two different pages and I just can't get it together. I am exhausted, but this medicine just wont let me SLEEP...I need sleep! I wanted to exercise tonight, but I just don't have the energy to do it. I did manage to come home and get most of my cleaning done, but other than that today has been a bust.
On top of this medicine making me crazy it just seems like so many other things going on. My car situation is still driving me nuts. I just want my car back, I just want to know how much it is going to cost, and I just want to be able to manage the fiances. It's hard to do that when you have such a large (sorta unknown) expense looming over your head, it's just frustrating. Having to drive Mark's truck back and forth to work with these gas prices is really hitting the pocket book hard. Between that and all the money I have had to spend at the doctors and medicine in the past two weeks I just feel like I want all this junk to be done with so I can make a plan to get the finances back on track....When will this end???
Then I am thinking about Winston's truck situation. We are suppose to be buying that at the end of the week (more money). I have to get all the paper work in order, figure out how much the insurance is going to be, get the title done, get tags...blah blah blah. It is just too much going on right now.
Then it seems to be some other stuff going on that I am not even going to try to understand. Regardless of what anyone thinks I am nothing more than a good honest person. I will do anything in the world for anyone, I try to be a good friend, and I pride myself of being a good person and being there for people when they need me. **Sometimes** I think people take a person's good intentions as weakness. I am not weak! I will be your best friend in the whole world be there for you and whatever else, but at the same time I deserve respect! I am about sick and tired of people walking all over me and treating me like poo!!! I am a grown women, who gets up every morning, goes to work, comes home and takes care of my responsibilities and that's that... I don't bother nobody, I go out of my way to be nice to everyone, I try to stay away from conflict. I am not dealing with it...I will sit my butt at home with my lovely husband and be the happiest person in the world :) I have too many things going on in my own life to worry about what anyone thinks or spending my time trying to make other people happy!!!
In life I have learned this...no matter how good of a person you are or what you do for anyone people will walk in and out of your life. Things change, people change, situations change and that's life...but there comes a point when you just have to be an adult and get over it. I am just tired of being a door mat. Tired of being the person who always cares and then feels like I don't get that in return. I can count on very few people in this world, but that doesn't bother me because relationships come down to one simple fact, it's quality not quantity!!!
Sorry to drop the rant on everyone. I am sleep deprived, stressed and just tired of everything swirling around. I don't feel like I deserve all this stuff going on and that's just me being real.
At the end of the day I am a person who has feelings. Maybe I will feel better after getting all these things off my chest....
Happy Monday everyone :) I am wishing for some things to fall back into place this week, so I can get myself back on track. Oh and only four more days of this medicine and them maybe I can find some sleep!