Some might not like what I am about to say, and that's ok. Everyone is in titled to their opinion after all this is America. After commenting on a facebook post, I was sort of blasted for what I had to say. That doesn't bother me, but this is my blog so I will make my point here, as for you reading you can form your own opinion.
On Sunday night there was a tragic accident in Wake Forest involving 4 teenagers. Three of the four were killed and the fourth is expected to recover. If you would like to read the story you can click the link from wral news below.
http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/9687375/As reported on the news these were all outstanding teens. They made good grades, participated in sports, were active in their church and community. They were very highly thought of in their community. In all accounts as I was told after my facebook comment...they had good character. Character is often defined as having moral and ethical strength, or also known as a personal estimation of someone or their reputation.
So while I think the teen behind the wheel was an all around good kid from what is reported I would struggle to say "character" based solely on the definition of that word. I will explain why...
The driver was breaking several laws. 1 law that was broken of course was EXCESSIVE speeding, the car was going 129 mph and estimated at 90 mph on impact. 2nd Law that was broken was the fact that this teen had a limited license and 3 passengers under the age of 21, in North Carolina that is against the law. Your only allowed 1 passenger under the age of 21.
Also the accident occurred at 8:40 which is 20 minutes prior to the driving curfew for a limited license. While I can't say that they wouldn't have been home before 9:00, I also question that...but only question!
I have several issues with this situation. The news has glorified these teens as being wonderful kids who did the right thing and being people you would want your children to be. We wonder why teens are involved in these crashes and here is the problem...You make everything about how great they were and FORGET the fact they were doing WRONG. Teens see this coverage and don't even get anything but how wonderful these teens were. When we should make it about how they were breaking the law not doing the right thing.
But NO, we say they were perfect and that it is a tragic accident. This is no ACCIDENT, you don't go 129 mph by accident! You make a decision, put your foot on the accelerator, and exceed the speed limit and disobey the law. The accident is that 3 people lost their life, not that it happened, the driver made a decision and that decision was bad and wrong. The bad and wrong part is what we should be talking about. If the driver had lived more than likely they would have been charged with 2 accounts of vehicular manslaughter or worse...is that what we consider good character in today's world?
We shouldn't be praising the life of the driver of this car. Instead of doing that we should be using this as an example of how being a good student or person doesn't mean you are above the law and can do whatever you want. At 16 years old you have developed a moral compass, you have the ability to make decisions and you know right from wrong, how can you justify a person of good character making such a terrible decision.
While I know as teens and adults we all at times make bad decisions. We usually call bad decisions mistakes and learn from them, but in some cases you don't get that chance. Here is my problem breaking the law is breaking the law. If I went to a bar and drank 10 shots and got behind the wheel and hit someone and killed them I would be portrayed as a bad person in the news a person with no moral compass. What makes this any different? Even if I did something like that I still might be a person that some would consider of good character... How come in one situation a person would be considered a criminal and in the other they are honored as being a upstanding member of the community?
It brings to mind another local case in our area. A doctor who was driving drunk and hit and killed a ballet dancer. This man was charged with murder, and has been portrayed very negative in the press. While in both cases the law was broken only one gets negative attention while the other does not. Both cases bad decisions were made and they cost lives, and that's how I see it.
This affects me because I have a brother who will soon be behind the wheel of a car. He makes great grades, plays sports, and is active in the church. People think very highly of him and he is by all accounts a good kid. When I think of him watching this news story it sickens me, because all he is going to see is pictures of teen agers just like him who were killed and only portrayed in a positive light. To me that is why we see this same story over and over. It scares me! When I started driving my parents laid down the rules. If I got a ticket for speeding I would have lost my car, if I had an accident and it was my fault I would have lost my car. To me being cautious and following the law was important because I wanted the PRIVILEGE to drive. We have talked with Winston about these same things, and my only hope is that he truly has what I would consider good character and that he always does the right thing. While you can't be with your kids all the time, you can enforce rules and make sure they understand consequences to doing the wrong thing.
I could also cast blame in other places. Why do auto companies make cars for road use that go so fast? I don't know anywhere here where it is legal to drive that fast. Why are we building cars that can exceed the speed limit so excessively? Why can we put breathalyzers in the cars of people who have got dui's but not put a device in the cars of teens that limit their speed to nothing over 65? We do it on school buses! There are so many things we can do to prevent this, yet for some reason we don't. I foresee the driving age being raised because of all these crashes. I think that is terrible because there are millions of teens who drive like they should and need a license to get to work, sporting events or to help their parents with errands, and these kids will be punished for the actions of those who don't follow the law, and that is sad.
In the end my heart goes out to all the families and friends who were affected by this. Especially the other teens that were passengers in the car, because they lost thier life and one was injured because of a decision someone else made. It is sad that 3 young men had to lose their life because of a bad decision. I can only hope that it will make all teens think before they act carelessly. Life is too precious to chance. Love your kids, and teach them the right thing and most importantly don't put them on the road if you have any doubts about the decisions they will make. It's not worth the risk!
